“I Accidentally Fell in Love with Old Town Bandon, Oregon (And All I Wanted Was a Snack)”
It all started with a gas station banana and Google Maps whispering sweet nothings like “recalculating.” That’s how I found myself veering off Highway 101 and stumbling into Old Town Bandon, Oregon — a place that sounds like it should be haunted by salty sea captains and overrun with rogue raccoons. Spoiler alert: It is not. It’s worse. It’s adorable.
Day 1: Attack of the Sea Air and Sudden Coastal Happiness
I arrived mid-morning, foggy and confused — kind of like the weather. My first impression? Bandon smells like brine, espresso, and retirement in the best way. The whole place looks like it was designed by someone who had a Pinterest board titled “Seaside Whimsy with a Touch of Lobster.”
There were driftwood sculptures. Shops with names like “Second Street Gallery” and “Washed Ashore.” A crab shack that might have been blessed by Poseidon himself. Honestly, I thought I'd stay for an hour. I stayed for two days and left with a hoodie that says “Get Crabby in Bandon.”
The Boardwalk: Art, Sea Lions &Existential Crabs
I made the classic tourist mistake of walking near the marina while holding food. Pro tip: Bandon seagulls have zero shame. I offered one a piece of my sandwich in friendship. It accepted and brought six of its cousins.
After escaping the bird mafia, I checked out the Bandon Boardwalk — home to a series of carved wooden sea creatures that range from “how whimsical” to “why does that fish look like it knows my secrets?” It was weird, and I loved it.
Also, there's a literal crab art gallery. I walked past it three times before realizing it wasn’t a prank. Real crabs. Made of trash. Judging me. If that’s not a metaphor for the human condition, I don’t know what is.
Shopping: Coastal Capitalism at Its Cutest
I went into one shop looking for sunscreen. I came out with locally made sea salt, a hand-knit beanie, a seahorse-shaped cookie cutter, and a jar of hot cranberry pepper jelly that I will probably never open but had to have.
You know that moment when you think, “Maybe I should move here and make artisanal candles and raise goats”? Yeah. Bandon did that to me.
Food: In Which I Attempt to Eat the Ocean
Old Town Bandon may be small, but it is not messing around when it comes to food. I had fish tacos so fresh they may have introduced themselves before being grilled. Tony’s Crab Shack served me clam chowder that made me question my entire relationship with soup.
I also discovered something called “Cranberry Chili Sauce.” Why is it red? Why is it spicy and sweet? Why did I buy three jars? Bandon doesn’t just feed you. It gaslights your palate in the most delicious way.
Things That Confused Me (But I Liked It Anyway)
- Face Rock. It’s a giant rock that looks like a face. Apparently there’s a whole legend behind it. I don’t remember the details — something about a princess, the moon, and drowning — but I’m pretty sure it involves ghostly drama. The face legit stares at the sky like she’s had enough of all of us.
- The Cheese Culture. Bandon takes its cheese very seriously. Like, monastic-level devotion. At the Bandon Creamery, I witnessed a man sniff cheddar with the reverence of a sommelier. I left with lactose-based enlightenment and a full-body dairy glow.
- Cranberries are a lifestyle. There’s a cranberry festival. Cranberry soaps. Cranberry lotion. Cranberry Christmas tree ornaments. These people don’t just like cranberries. They would take a cranberry bullet for the cause.
Accidentally Smitten
Look, I didn’t mean to fall in love with Old Town Bandon. I was just trying to find somewhere to charge my phone and maybe get a cup of coffee. But this sea-sprayed little town pulled me in with its coastal voodoo, artisan wares, and fish that probably had names before I ate them.
Will I be back? Absolutely. I left a piece of my heart — and half a bag of saltwater taffy — on the boardwalk.
Also, I think the seagulls remember me, so we will be friends forever….
Pro Tips for Future Bandon Adventurers:
- Wear layers. The weather changes faster than your ex’s relationship status.
- Do not — I repeat, DO NOT — feed the birds.
- Say yes to the cheese curds.
- Pretend you understand crab art. It's polite.
